Home > Composition Book > [January, 1989] Grudges Galore

[January, 1989] Grudges Galore

Art by DoA, diary

Art by DoA


Dear Journal,

Yesterday I gave Marcela her book and the letter she gave me, she didn’t say anything and I really don’t care.

I am not Nisa’s friend anymore either because she never cares about my feelings, only hers.

By the way I still really miss Jonas. And I still love him.

In case it’s not beyond obvious at this point, I was (and still am, truth be told) a fan of the dramatic gesture.  It wasn’t enough to have Marcela storm out of my 11th birthday party. I couldn’t let her have the last word and wanted her to know the friendship was well and truly over. There was no better way to do this than return a book she lent me along with the letter she had written less than two months earlier asking us to be friends again. Much in the same way the end of a romance is often punctuated with personal belongings being returned, I found that such a gesture gave the end of my friendship with Marcela the gravitas (or, let’s face it, good old fashioned drama) it deserved.

Nisa was my best friend in elementary school, though I was also on shaky ground with her. It’s funny, because I remember being surrounded by friends during those years, but I don’t remember having so many damn conflicts with them. Were my preadolescent social skills that flawed? (Don’t answer that.) Is it common to have frequent quarrels with friends or was I that tempestuous and oversensitive? (Definitely don’t answer that.)

Whatever the case may be, Nisa and I would make up, but this was it for Marcela and me. Which always made me a little sad, because I thought she was so cool; not just because of her perfectly Aqua-Netted bangs, pretty handwriting, and the sassy way she snapped her gum. Marcela and I shared a resemblence, so I sometimes liked to pretend we were sisters. I also admired her sense of humor, smarts, and boldness. But in the end, I think we couldn’t find a way for our strong personalities to mesh. It’s a shame, because we had a hell of a lot of fun when we did get along.

(And let’s not even get into the whole Jonas thing. I’ll spare the excess entries where I’m mooning over him.)

  1. Liz
    September 21, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    The end of a friendship IS like the end of a romance. That’s exactly what my Facebook Note was about. 😛

    • damiella
      September 22, 2009 at 10:35 am

      I hadn’t seen that note, but I’ll have to check it out. Ending friendships can be even more painful than romances because there’s usually a longer history involved.

  2. Ben Morse
    September 21, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    I am sure this entry is great and I will totally read it later, but that sketch is AMAZING!

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