Home > Teddy Bear Diary > [September, 1991] Bad Deja Vu

[September, 1991] Bad Deja Vu

Wednesday 9/11/91


Dear Journal,

He laughed. I laughed. Then our eyes met. He glanced away. My gaze lingered. I never thought I felt this way about Archie. Even at orientation I felt this little attraction. I think it was that moment in art class that I decided considering asking him out.

It is only the first day of school, so I have plenty of time to decide.

When I read over these diary entries, I find some many of them worthy of mockery. Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cringe, but this one makes me react in a different way. It’s more akin to watching a horror movie and wanting to shout at some dimwit not to go up the stairs where the killer awaits. Or wanting to scream “WATCH OUT!” to an ignorant pedestrian stepping off a curb into the path of an oncoming truck. In this case, I want to travel back in time and tell my thirteen-year-old self,

“Don’t do it! Please, for the love of all that’s holy, decide to NOT consider asking him out. Just think of all the 80’s teen movies you’ve ever seen and understand that real life will kick your ass if you think they’re indicative of what adolescent life is really like. DO. NOT. DO. THIS!”

After the disaster of asking Justin out, I don’t know why I thought things would go any better with Archie. Especially considering that Archie was one of the most popular kids in our grade and I was… well I was going through a phase where I wore a lot of Blossom-esque hats.

I took a random moment with a cute boy, exaggerated it into something it wasn’t, and was about to do something regrettable. This could only have a happy ending on Planet John-Hughes-Movie. The problem was, I had yet to learn that I was no Molly Ringwald…

(And when I wrote “I have plenty of time to decide,” I think we all know this is going to play out real soon, right?)

  1. May 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    “He laughed. I laughed. Then our eyes met. He glanced away. My gaze lingered.”
    I love how dramatic this entry is. You really should have considered a career writing screenplays for teen movies.

    • damiella
      May 27, 2010 at 8:15 pm

      Hahaha, I don’t know about that. I doubt I’ll be putting Stephenie Meyer out of business anytime soon… 🙂

  2. Liz
    May 28, 2010 at 5:08 am

    Interesting now that we are moving into the period of time when I actually knew you and rode the same school bus…!
    You know that I totally wanted to impress you and Judy, right? 🙂

    • damiella
      May 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm

      Wha-HUH? Seriously?

      • Judy
        May 28, 2010 at 9:27 pm

        I second that….What??? Seriously?

  3. Liz
    June 3, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    Hey girls- sorry, I had forgotten to check back to see if you’d responded!
    Um, yeah…keeping in mind that being a 7th grader who rode the school bus, I was basically the lowest on the totem pole! I had no idea really what to expect from HCHS, other than knowing a very few other girls who had gone there from my elementary school a year or two before me, and then one or two girls in Brooklyn my age who were going (e.g., one I’d met at camp the summer before). I eventually got a sense of how uncool it might be to ride the bus, but this was not really a factor in social life ON the bus. You all knew each other already, and you were older…which made you, by default, cooler/more comfortable in the bus social sphere. 🙂
    I’ve mentioned this in other comments on this blog, but I definitely developed a renewed sense of how dorky my clothes were, based on bus conversations about stores like the Gap…wanting to impress anyone with my wardrobe was pretty much out of the question, but I vaguely remember trying to be funny enough to at least fit in with the crowd conversationally. I also remember being friendly with Felix(!!!) for awhile, until the two of you made jokes at some point about him being my valentine or my boyfriend or something…even at the age of 12 or 13, when I knew it was kind of wrong, I made the conscious choice to distance myself from him socially. Few people could be more terminally uncool than a dork whose idol was Al D’Amato, and whose burps smelled as bad as his, due to sandwiches “full of Bulgarian meat.” 😉
    Bottom line- I am pretty sure I spent much of my 7th grade year (at least, the commuting portion of it) trying to get in good with you two! By my 8th grade year, I was probably not trying as hard, between realizing that the bus was not a crucial part of my social life, and also since I was switched to mostly a different bus route: if memory serves, you still had Bruno, but I had Nick in the morning, and often Ray in the afternoon…yes, I have an expansive memory for useless information!
    I’m sure I could add more, but that’s enough waxing nostalgic for now. 😉

  1. July 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

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