Home > Red Spiral Notebook > [January, 1996] Black Lipstick

[January, 1996] Black Lipstick

The goth goddess that is Siouxsie Sioux

The goth goddess that is Siouxsie Sioux


I’m floating. Barely slept (less than 6 hours), tossed and turned. I was back at the Bank yesterday by my lonesome. It was packed, took me a half hour just to get inside. Didn’t take me too long to get dancing, though (I would have gone out when they played “The Blood” but it was too soon). “Christine” is what did it (I actually had woken up that day to a different Siouxsie song, “Israel,” which they played later on). I really got into the dancing (esp. during “…zombified,” “reptile,” “this is heresy” and some really good Skinny Puppy song).

[Maybe it was a little weird for me to spend New Year’s Eve at a goth club on my own, but after the super-fun time I had their on my birthday, it was my happy place, so it didn’t matter that I couldn’t wrangle any of my friendsnone of whom were gothto go with me.]

I’m getting to the good part.

I was standing outside the Gothic room [not to be mistaken with the main room which played post-punk, industrial but also goth music] when a guy that I had been watching walked by me with a girl (he had dark wavy jaw-length hair and wore a velvet cape and lots of eye make-up and lipstick — black).

[Apart from the hair, that actually sounds a lot like my look at the club the previous week.]

He looked at me as he entered the room and we made eye contact again when he turned around. About a minute later he left the room. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I looked to my right and he was standing next to me. He asked what my name was (his is Morgan) and we started talking.

He said, “So you noticed me?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Well, I noticed you too.”

[I am 1000% sure my little black heart did flip-flops when he said that.]

It was pretty loud where we were standing so we had to lean in really close and talk right in each other’s ears. It was nice just standing in the semi-darkness, chatting.

We were having some trouble hearing each other, so Morgan suggested we go upstairs. We did, it was actually more of a large balcony with a bar and some chairs. We were at one end of the railing watching the people and he asked how late I was staying. I said 4:00 (at this point it was about a quarter to) and he said that was unfortunate.

I didn’t know how late The Bank was open but he was under the impression that since it was New Year’s it was open until 5:00 or 6:00. So I offered to call to see if I could get picked up later. Well, I ran into a problem at the coat check (it took forever to find mine) and they told me down there they were open ‘til 4:00. I went back upstairs and we asked a bartender who said the same thing.

[“ran into a problem” is an understatement. At the time, I owned a black wool peacoat. Somehow, mine got misplaced, so I had to actually go and search through the racks myself. Imagine the coat check of a goth club on its busiest day of the year. The racks had HUNDREDS of black coats. 80% of which were peacoats. All I wanted to do was get back to the cute goth boy waiting upstairs for me.]


So then we went down this back staircase to this shady area on the floor not too far from the door. Though it was kind of brief, it didn’t take me long to discern that Morgan does not have a tongue piercing.

[My “coy” way of saying we had a brief make-out session.]

At one point he said something really interesting. Don’t remember the exact wording. Something like,

“You may not understand this. But save me.”

There were a few things I could have said in reply, but instead I just kissed his neck.

[Oh, how much bad poetry was inspired by the brief interlude with this guy…]

We talked about when we would meet and he gave me his number (he lives in Pennsylvania but is staying at his friend’s house in Queens).

I called him today and he wanted me to come over, but Mom was dead set against it. He told me I should come to the London After Midnight show at the Limelight on Thursday but that’s not possible, unfortunately. That’s all I’m going to write for now.

It was my first hook-up with a goth boy and I couldn’t have asked for it to be any more gothtastic. It had all the necessary elements: Noticing each other in a dark goth club? Check. Boy wearing lots of black make-up and a velvet cape? Check. Smooching in dark corner of said night club? Check. Boy says something insanely melodramatic like “save me” to girl, which girl finds strange and thrilling and romantic? Check and double check.

Another thing I learned that night is that smeared black lipstick takes forever to wash off. I must’ve come out of that club looking like a crazy hybrid of Marilyn Manson and Ronald McDonald. If my parents noticed anything unusual about my smudged appearance when they picked me up, I’m sure glad they didn’t say anything.

  1. Liz
    August 25, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Is it weird that the biggest question on my mind is about your parents coming to pick you up at 4 AM?
    In my ever-so-brief club days, my parents didn’t even wait up for me, let alone come out to find me. If I’d ever gotten home in the middle of the night and realized I’d forgotten my keys, I would have had to wake them up with the doorbell, or go find a (yick) payphone, and risk the ire (not to mention the questions). Thankfully, I don’t think that ever happened!
    I did become very familiar with the train stations between 14th St. and Bway-Lafayette, though. Standing in heels in a station without benches, waiting for a train for 40 minutes when my actual ride would only take 20 minutes? Yep. Plus, sometimes at 14th St., when walking to the end of the platform, you could detect the scent of up to 4 distinctly different urines. 😛
    Ah, memories…

    • August 26, 2014 at 11:40 am


      Ha, no, I guess it is rather stange that my folks would get me so late. I think they were in the city for a party of their own (I can’t imagine they would have driven in all the way from Brooklyn to pick me up). Usually, when I went clubbing, I stayed at a friend’s house, so I think this was the only time they did this.

      And I didn’t take that many late night subway rides when I got older but it surprised me just how crowded the train could be at 2 a.m. on a few occasions.

      • Liz
        August 26, 2014 at 2:53 pm

        As long as you didn’t tell the hot guy that your ride was actually your parents, he probably just thought you had some very accommodating friends. 😉

      • August 26, 2014 at 3:20 pm

        Uh, I was such a dork back then (was? hahaha) I probably DID say it was my parents.

      • Liz
        August 26, 2014 at 3:46 pm

        Did you ever see the movie “Superstar” in the late 90s? One character is sort of a punk/goth and I remember towards the end, she’s seen with her parents, who are equally punky/gothy. I just spent a stupid amount of time googling for an image of this or a Youtube clip that includes them, but no dice…oh well. 😉

  2. August 26, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    I’ve never seen Superstar, but might have to just for that!

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